The Almighty Umar

Obviously this situation has messed my head and emotions up in ways I never thought would ever happen to me. And I hate it and hate myself. I need to go away for a long while. That can't happen now, unfortunately. I'll have to wait til late April. I may try to arrange something for right after Godspell, but still.... I'm losing myself. I'm being affected in ways I never thought I could be affected. I'm being ways I never thought I could be. And it's all causing a difficult situation to get worse as it was slowly becoming good. I pray it can come to good again. I'm sorry.




I need to be away.

Add to it all, I got this email from my baby (yes.. email):

"Dear daddy you rock and love you and i will for ever.

you make me feel so good in side"

At least there's one deep loving female in my life that loves me.

Made me weep.



Life is better than I'm even feeling. I must realize that.

WHAT
A
HAPPY
NIGHT!!!!


NY GIANTS SUPERBOWL CHAMPS!!!!!


YESSSSSS!!!!!


Wow... it's so nice to be smiling so big and my heart full. May not be love, but FUCK!!!! THIS IS GLORIOUS!!!!

AND I CALLED IT. GIANTS BY 3!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

IT'S PEANUTBUTTERJELLYTIME!!!!!




OH HAPPY DAY!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

So, today is my day off. In celebration of MLK Day. It's kinda funny that I get this day off and not Columbus Day. That just cracks me up. Anyway, so I have a day off, the purpose of this day off is in celebration and rememberance of one of the greatest men ever to live on earth. So, what do I do?

Sleep in, and be domestic.

Heh. well, I did celebrate and remember. Quilombolas performed last night at Babalu as part of a show dedicated to vision and accomplishments of Dr. King. We performed w/ Truth Maze and Shá Cage, artists on the Tru Ruts roster (which we are a part of now. Yes we are signed... more on that later), and we did a set. And what a set. We had all the lovely ladies and suave fellas burnin the dance floor. It was a great audience and a fun show. There were some musical issues, but really, we got people up and entertained and motivated. It was lovely.

So, today, I slept in til 10 (well, woke up at 7 and then went back to sleep), got up, had some breakfast and then started setting up my new room. Arranged the desk, put away clothes, got some washed, put way toiletries and knick knacks, etc. It's looking pretty good. And I'm feeling better about it. This is a good home and a good place for me to be as it is right now. Great people, all musicians, practice space, brotherhood. There's more on the horizon for me and plans I have for later this year, but right now and for the time being, this is the spot. And it's good. Real good.

So, yes, I'm part of an act w/ a recording agreement and a booking agent. Wicked, huh? The overall company/enterprise is called Tru Ruts Endeavors and the label is Speakeasy Records. They have 10 artists on the roster and they get the work going. Promo is hot and the record will be released in the Spring. I'm excited. Things are looking up, for real.

Well, time for lunch and a shower and then back to the house to be w/ Q-love.

NY GIANTS IN THE SUPERBOWL, BITCHES!!!!! YEAAHHHHH....


New England, watch you arses. We comin afta ya. fuck yo undefeated record!!!

Believe in ELi!! BELIEVE!!!

Well, we've gotten through the week and we're both alive and not hating each other. Well, not too much. heh. Honestly, we haven't spoken about anything thoroughly other than scheduling issues. She's joking a little w/ me and we can shake each other's hand and give an amicable hug. Not bad, really. And the little Diva is doing quite well, actually. I come by everyday after work and we are together until she goes to bed or right before. And then she's to be w/ me exclusively during the weekend. And, this works. There's need for flexibility, like when I have gigs or she has plans for babygirl. But all in all, it's working out ok. There's more to do, more to deal with, more to connect with... but it's only been a week. Slow down, why don't you.

In other life news, time has opened up for me a bit and things are picking up huge in many areas. Quilombolas has recently signed a booking agreement w/ Tru Ruts Endeavors, a local arts enterprise. And, well, I got a call today for a couple of last minute great gigs. It turned into one gig that we still have to work some kinks out about, but hell... yeah, it's working out cool. Many many endeavors on the horizon. So much positivity there. Skinny Longfeet is building as well. That group recently was given a weekly spot at a local club for 6 weeks starting this Wed. And the bandleader wants me to work with him to get things going good and organized. And then there's Godspell. Wow. Things are moving so fast it's in slow motion. But we've gotten so much done w/ music and dances. We even have our costumes set. Now we have to deal w/ scripts and lines, etc. Blocking. Lots to do. So much to do. And then, there's the outside stuff. The promo, the program ad sales, the financing, etc. Lots of work. But it's so good to do it all.

I've also been working on organizing some big employment plans. Nothing to really speak on yet, but it's more than a relative thought right now. There's more a real plan developing. It does help that things are picking up and looking up for me in other areas in my life and there are some real good opportunities around.

Well... I should get to some packing and rest. I got sick this weekend and it can't last. I have a sketch reheasal and a gig Wed, rehearsal Thurs, rehearsals Sat and Sun, gig on Sunday. So I gotta be kickin live, ya know...

What Umar Means

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

Love never claims, it never gives. Love ever suffers, never resents, never revenges itself.

-Mahatma Gandhi, 1925

I really should have some userpics to express melancholy and/or anger... maybe I just errantly didn't see a reason to. well... a pirate will have to do.

Some of you who will come upon this already know what's going on, so if you don't want to read and you just want to move on, go for it.

Angela and I are getting a divorce. Plain and simple, I cheated on her physically and emotionally a few times starting 2 years ago into last year. I crossed many lines and boundaries. Each time I did it I was reacting and responding to feelings that I wasn't getting the love and respect and affection I needed from Angela. So, in major lacks of judgement, I went to others (some in heart, some in body) to fill what I felt was empty parts of my life. This is not a justification at all, just my reason. Obviously Angela is EXTREMELY hurt and devastated by my actions. For that and many other reasons, I am truly and profoundly sorry. More than one can understand.

There is obviously more to this story from my end and from Angela's end, but that's between us and whomever we need to express those issues to personally. I'd like to keep it that way. This is a major situation between us and regardless of feelings that friends and family have about this situation, Angela and I need to work through this together for the betterment of our own lives and the betterment of Quinn's life. As for Quinn, she knows what's going on. She's dealing like a trooper, but things are fresh right now and lord knows how she'll react as things develop.

I understand that there will be people that will be disgusted by me and hate me. I'm fine with that. I don't expect to have many friends right now. Those that choose to remain a friend and support me and support and honor Angela and Quinn are a major and complete blessing. As for those who have me friended on here, if you feel you need to, unfriend me. I understand and I wish all of you nothing but love.

We will get through this and remain friends and parenting partners. This is going to be tougher than tough but we'll get through it. Mainly so Quinn is always loved and always has love and happiness around her.

Dominate in 08, ladies and gentlemen.


Dominate.

( Where ya at!! )

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

So, we're here. We've been here for pretty much the whole day. Oh, yeah. We, as in the fam and in Las Vegas for...

OUR WEDDING!!!

We're at the Flamingo Casino and Hotel. A pretty place and a bit over the top. Not like Ceasar's Palace. Holy SHIT that place is huge. There's like 3 or 4 sections to it. We can see it right outside our room window. Damn it's huge. A little earlier today I saw the big fountain that shoots up like a huge orgasm. It's either part of Ceasar's or something else, but I got all squeely about it.

foolsgoldxo is here w/ her fam to enjoy the wedding. Her hubby is performing the ceremony. Ex.ci.ted we are. The chapel and the grounds around looke great. the actual chapel is small, but it's looks great.

Ok... we're on our way out to get our marriage license and take engagement photos.

"Reply to this post, and I will list three things I love about you. Maybe more than three. Then repost to your own journal and spread the love."

Locals..

Ifn ya want, potty at my house 7PM-11. Then after-potty at Loring Pasta Bar for SALSA!!

And I may go skinny dipping in some lake if I get drunk enough or feel like my old self

Tux, that is. Yes, we finally went back and made the choice. It was an easy shop, really. But that's because I am that good. So, if you remember back, I made a post about checking out tuxes for the wedding and all. These were the choices originally:

http://www.savviformalwear.com/gallery/tux_detail.aspx?id=756

http://www.savviformalwear.com/gallery/tux_detail.aspx?id=53

http://www.savviformalwear.com/gallery/tux_detail.aspx?id=76

http://www.savviformalwear.com/gallery/tux_detail.aspx?id=44.

So I went back today w/ A and Q and A's mom. I tried on all of the above except choice 53 and 76. I tried on a couple of new ones as A suggested that things may look cool in the photo and on the rack, but not good on me or not good w/ A's dress and the wedding look/theme in general. So after trying on about 4 jackets, we came down to a smooth trad pinstripe and the mandarin collar (choice 44). I actually liked choice 756, but it didn't feel right for the wedding... Actually no. It was a more trad look than the mandarin, but had the open non button thing non trad thing that the mandarin collar had. I LOOOOVVVEED the Jean Yves mandarin collar jacket the second I put it on. So, I tried it on w/ a black curvat tie. Even better. So then we wondered about a vest that was in the wine color of the wedding. Found one that had a curvy line textured design w/ the vest of that color. Getting closer. I'm now getting excited. A's starting to sweat. Q isn't sure she's down yet.

So we ask about shirt. Black or white? A's dress is an ivory apparently (and that's all I know about it. I'm not supposed to know anything else). So, we check out an off-white/close to ivory shirt (looks white alone, but when put up to a crisp bright white shirt, it's def off white), and a straight black shirt. I try on the white shirt first, with the jet black curvat and the wine red w/ design vest and mandarin tux jacket. Grand fuckin slam, each inning, for nine innings. Academy award, grammy, tony and emmy all in the same year. According to A, she got sick to her stomach, in a "OMG, we're really getting married." way. I went and tried on the black shirt. Very nice. Very nice. More like my grammy appearance outfit. It'd actually work hot w/ the pinstripe no-button tux jacket (choice 756).

And so, it was chosen. Off white shirt with the jet black curvat and the wine red w/ design vest and mandarin tux jacket. Black w/ gold trim cuff-links and buttons. Shoes are left tbd. We saw some Kenneth Cole shoes that would completely set the tone right for it. Right now the tux is rented, but it's too fucking good to rent. I may just rent it for the wedding, but I'm getting it again for the reception. But that'll cost another $116. I'm apt to find out how much it would be to just outright buy it and leave it at that. Besides, why should A get to have her dress purchased and me only have a rented tux? I've been the one consistently wanting to get married these past 6 or so years. So, I should own my wedding tux. Besides, who else could wear it and work it like I can. Yeah.

Damn... it's happening.

1. How many children would you like to ultimately have?
Three. I'd like to be a patriarch of a sizable family, but nothing as huge as my maternal and paternal grandparents have. Mom's of a family of 6 and Dad a family of 5. I just don't think A and I could really handle that many kids. But who knows what the universe holds in store for us. We got pregnant w/ Q when we didn't think we should, and we haven't gotten pregnant since when we thought we could handle it. It's out of the radar right now, so who knows what'll happen.

2. How many siblings do you have - if any? (I should know this)
None. I'm an only child. And I loved it.

3. Do you have old friends from your childhood/teen years that you still stay in touch with? And if so, will we meet them in Vegas?
Yes I do. I have friends from HS that I still keep in touch with, some of whom were my best friends or really good friends during that period. I don't know if any of them will make it to Vegas. My best friends ever whom I rolled w/ in college will be there for sure, though.

4. What best describes your vocal range? (ie, tenor, baritone, bass - or combination of any of the above...)
Ooooohhh. Good question. I'd say from a qualitative POV, it'd be between baritone and high tenor (1st tenor?). From a quantitative POV I can go from bass to high tenor. but I can't hit a high G. I hate that. I really want to hit that. I was a boy soprano when I was young. Then I grew up and drank a lot of beer and rum and got my lower range working. LOLOL.. oh yeah, and more lessons in college. LOLOL

5. Is there any form of music that you just can't tolerate? And - do you like opera?
YES. I loathe pop country. And, I know it's a disappointment for A, but although I can tolerate it sometimes, I'm not the biggest fan of the folk genre. And, I ADORE opera. I really want to go to a hot performance. It's been over 10 years and that's a travesty.

1. what's the square root of 39565908134?
I gotta think now? NAHHH.. that's what calculators are for. Answer is....198911.8099409866

2. what's one fantasy you've not yet experienced? Sexual or life? lololol. Life: Performing in Yankee Stadium to a capacity crowd (approx: 58,600.. or so). Sexual: hmmmm.... Beach in the daytime.

3. what animal would you choose to be?
A panther. They're the coolest cats ever, they can either be spotted or purple or black or dark dark blue. Stealthy, they can hang out in trees, they're quiet but can be ferocious. AWESOME.

4. would you rather end the war in iraq or end female circumcision worldwide?
End female circumcision worldwide. As much as I hate the war in iraq, there's a chance there can be a turnaround and we can ge the hell out. But that's on all of us to take care of. Make the right votes and protest and storm DC if necessary. But female circumcision is a cultural issue that has been abusing women for hundreds... thousands of years. It's even more unnecessary than male circumcision and far more damaging. Mentally and physically. And the issues it perpetuates is damaging and absolutely abusive. It's not even an archaic issue, it's an abuse issue. And that NEEDS to stop.

5. if you had to live in either albuquerque, atlanta, or anchorage, which would you choose? Atlanta. Each place has their issues and positives, but for me, Atlanta is the spot. Aside from me actually having been there other than ABQ and Anchorage, I love the living and the culture there. Plus there's more black folk and latino folk there and a brotha needs that. I just try not to pay attention to their flag, some of the racist white folk there and REM.... lololol Oh wait, they're from Athens. Scratch REM, then.

1. Leave me a casual comment of no particular significance, like a lyric to your current favorite song, or your favorite kind of sandwich, maybe your favorite game. Any remark, meaningless or not.

2. I will respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.

3. Update your LJ with the answers to the questions.

4. Include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in your own post.

5. When others respond with a desultory comment, you will ask them five questions.

Please join myself and Quilombolas for Afrifest this Saturday, August 18th, at 8pm at The Cedar Cultural Center. Last week we celebrated our Mother Earth, this week we celebrate our Mama Africa. There are a number of other events going on for the 4 days of Afrifest, leading to Lucky Dube at 1st Ave on 8/20/07. FFI: www.afrifest.org

To our dedicated fellow quilombolas and other friends: if you'd like to get on "the list" for Saturday, respond ASAP and we can get the first 15 of you in for free. Just taking care of our brothers and sisters.

Also, this may come to you too late, but if you get up early, you may catch us on Fox 9's morning show this Friday the 17th around 6am. I know, it's rough, but just to let you know, we'll be on tv baby! If you miss it, I'm betting we'll get the footage later and get it up on myspace or youtube or something.